You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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