I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize