can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize