you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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