Me too!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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