So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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