You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
