If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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