Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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