Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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