Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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