Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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