Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
