I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
