if only i could text you this smell
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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