you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
