She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize