just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
