its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
