u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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