I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
