Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
