someone threw a dead crab at me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
