I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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