If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
