The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
