Where is the hickey?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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