I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
