the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize