I just pynch a tree in the face
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
