I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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