Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
