The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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