so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
