Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
