She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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