She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
