Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
