I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
