You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
third nipple confirmed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
