i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
