i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
