Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
