I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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