It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
