found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
