Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
