Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
