I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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