Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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