my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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