I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
