I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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