So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
