Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
