Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
