Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
