im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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