I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
