id be glad to
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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