haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
