he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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