So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
zippers are such a cool invention
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
