A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
